New bill aims to curb growth of "micronations"

WASHINGTON - Wary over homegrown dissent after British authorities clash with "Sealand", Congress is considering a bill to ban United States citizens from participating in so-called "micronations". Micronations are a range of small, unrecognized states spanning the spectrum from the hobbies of teenagers to massive projects that threaten the authority of larger countries. One of the best known, Sealand, is located on an abandoned naval base just off the British coast. The country is ruled by the eccentric "Prince Michael", who claims to be exempt from British law and who has used his "independence" to host Internet data outside the reach of British law. Attempts by the British government to shut down the operation have so far been unsuccessful, with Sealand using both legal means and military force to hold of the British government.

According to Senator Orrin Hatch (R-Utah), the conditions are ripe for the United States to develop a similar thorn in its side. "According to my office, there are more than one hundred groups claiming to be micronations in the United States", the senator told reporters. "Congress needs to send a clear message that the territory of the United States, including its offsea drilling platforms, is not up for grabs. As long as we let secessionist groups operate freely within our borders, we leave ourselves open to a Sealand-style incursion on our sovereignty."

To prevent that, the Senator proposed S401, the Secessionist Communities Limitation Act. Not only does it completely ban any claim to American territory, but it proposes a punishment of up to three years in prison and a $40000 fine for the operation of any micronational community within United States territory. Any United States citizen joining a foreign micronation would be open to a charge of treason.

The micronational community is outraged at the bill, viewing it as an attempt to encroach upon a harmless hobby. "Micronationalism is not about secession, or about a lack of loyalty to the United States," said Peter Arkshire, who also styles himself King Peter I of Hodie Acres. "Micronationalism is about creating a friendly community and forging a culture with like-minded people. It is no more dangerous than other similar hobbies, like role-playing or political simulations."

The Senate is set to vote on S401 next Friday; if it passes, it will still need to clear the House of Representatives. Republican majority leader Tom DeLay has indicated that his party will be supporting the motion. "The integrity and unity of American citizens is a vital part of the War on Terror," he said. "We cannot try to overcome a foreign threat to our country when we have countless fifth columns working to undermine us from within. I have talked to party leaders, and S401 seems to garner bipartisan support from everyone who has seriously looked at it."

Micronational leaders, however, were undaunted, and vowed to fight the bill. Perhaps the most interesting response came from Scott Alexander, Minister of Information in the Imperial Republic of Shireroth. When asked for his opinion on the happenings in Congress, Scott simply told reporters, "April fools!"